Look At This Fucking Idea For A Blog-To-Book Deal

Random Quotes That Could Plausibly Be About “The Human Centipede”

“The logistics behind this would be an absolute nightmare, but I would not be surprised if this eventually goes into place for coach passengers.”

Hat tip to Joe Reid.

Things You Can Yell After You’ve Already Released The Kraken

• “Release the crackers!”
• “Release the Dokken!”
• “Release the knickers!”
• “Release the Fichtner!”
• “Release the chicken!”
• “Release the tickles!”
• “Release the Heckerling!”
• “Release the vacuum!”
• “Release the wiccan!”
• “Release the Packers!”
• “Release Slim Pickens!”
• “Release the gherkin!”
• “Release the Jergens!”

I Hate Him. He’s Right Behind Me, Isn’t He?

Hat tips to Pamie and TheeErin

Road Signs For Carol

From The Fictional Desk Of

Hat tip to Pamie.

Garfield Minus Garfield Plus Fruit Preserves

Stereotyping People By Their Favourite Canned Bean

Kidney: You still wet your bed

Baked (with pork): You have a shoe fetish

Black: You brush your teeth too hard/have receding gums

Pinto: You are very responsible about contributing to your 401K

Garbanzo (a.k.a. “Chickpeas”): You get really bad coffee breath

Baked (vegetarian): You’re functionally illiterate

Lima: You tell people your best friend is your mother

Refried: You give money to buskers — even crappy ones

Yankee: You’re that guy from that one Seinfeld who dated Elaine and then had a stroke

Green: You’re scared of fresh vegetables

Sting’s Wandering Beard

First Draft Propaganda Posters

Will Shortz Facts

• Will Shortz is so confident, he even did his SAT with a ballpoint pen.
• When Will Shortz does a Sudoku, each line doesn’t add up to 9: it adds up to infinity.
• The theme for EVERY Will Shortz crossword puzzle is “KICKINGASS.”
• A picture’s worth a thousand words. A picture of Will Shortz is worth a thousand words that only contain vowels.
• Will Shortz starts out easy but as the week goes on, he gets real hard.